Integrating Identities + Compartmentalization

Written By Moriah Conant M.A.

Today we’re going to talk about marginalized identities and the ways in which we might cope with the trauma of hate, discrimination, and bullying. Let’s start off by defining what a marginalized identity is.

Marginalized identities are “groups and communities that experience discrimination and exclusion (social, political and economic) because of unequal power relationships across economic, political, social and cultural dimensions.” - The National Collaborating Centre for Determinants of Health

Many people with marginalized identities face hate, discrimination, and bullying related to those identities. Some of this hate is external, but there can also be internalized hate against these identities that have been learned from other people or society. One common way people may cope in response to hate, discrimination, and bullying, is by compartmentalizing their marginalized identities. 

One helpful model that I like to use when thinking about compartmentalizing marginalized identities is the ADDRESSING Model by Pamela Hays. This model identifies nine areas of diversity which are:

  1. Age

  2. Development disabilities & acquired disabilities

  3. Religion

  4. Ethnicity/race

  5. Socioeconomic status

  6. Sexual orientation

  7. Indigenous heritage

  8. National origin

  9. Gender

These are some of the identities that make up who you are as a whole person.

One way to think of compartmentalizing is by imagining yourself as a closet full of all your favorite things. Compartmentalizing identities is like putting each identity such as your religion or sexuality in a different shoebox, shutting the lid, and putting it on a shelf. You might take out one or a few at a time, but for the most part, everything is kept separately. You haven’t really unpacked the contents of these boxes and settled into this space, and because everything is kept separately, you cannot integrate these identities together. 

Holding our identities in these boxes is what happens when we compartmentalize or disintegrate our identities. Disintegration or compartmentalization of identities is a coping skill or method of survival. When things are really difficult, sometimes survival is the best we can hope for. If it is not safe to be authentic, it makes sense that someone would compartmentalize an identity or try to be less of that identity. 

For example: If a teen is being bullied for identifying as lesbian, they may try to compartmentalize that identity by not publicly dating people of the same gender, not talking about their identity, or not expressing their gender in a way that is authentic to them. We also see this type of behavior if two or more identities are poised as incompatible or if you experience discrimination for one marginalized identity in a space affiliated with another identity.

An example of this might be an individual experiencing discrimination in a religious setting because of their identity as LGBTQIA+. Maybe you’ve experienced racism in LGBTQIA+ settings, perhaps you’ve experienced ableism in academic settings. Spaces that feel safe for one identity may not be safe for another identity. This is why intersectionality is important. Intersectionality is a way of looking at how your identities are connected and the ways in which they interact with each other. Many different identities make up who you are, and they are all intertwined. 

Therapy can provide corrective emotional experiences that allow you to integrate your identities by creating space for you to process past events in a space that is safer and more supportive. What is a corrective emotional experience? APA (n.d.) identifies it as “an experience through which one comes to understand an event or relationship in a different or unexpected way.” Ideally, a therapist creates a safe environment for a client to bring up, explore and process experiences where their identities were marginalized or discriminated against.

These corrective emotional experiences can help you change the way you feel about your identities and the events you’ve gone through. Maybe you have internalized events that happened to you, experiencing internalized attitudes like homophobia, transphobia, or racism. Being able to process these experiences in a new setting allows you to look at ways that individual people and systems have harmed you, and create space for you to attribute responsibility to outside parties and finally take the weight off your shoulders.

You deserve to exist as a whole person, with all of your identities valued and integrated. If you think that therapy would be helpful as you work on integrating identities, you can set up a 30-minute consultation with our therapist matchmaker to find the therapist who’s the best fit for you.

Want to Learn More About Our Approach to Trauma?

Blog
How to Navigate the Holidays with Complex Trauma
How to Navigate the Holidays with Complex Trauma

For many survivors of complex trauma, the holiday season can be an evocative time. It can bring up anxiety about setting boundaries with difficult family members, grief regarding the people you are not spending the holidays with, or a sense of gratitude about the past year of growth and healing. Let’s talk about how to navigate the holiday season with complex trauma

How to Survive the Holidays with Your Family
How to Survive the Holidays with Your Family

In a sequel to the blog titled “How to Survive the Holidays with Your Partner,” I present to you some reflective questions and tips for how to cope with seeing family this holiday season!

How to Safely Talk to Loved Ones About Your Trauma, Part III
How to Safely Talk to Loved Ones About Your Trauma, Part III

You’ve done a whole lot of preparation: you’ve thought of what you want to tell your loved one, why, which triggers might come up and how to soothe yourself accordingly, which questions you’ll field (and won’t), when to take breaks, and whether you want to talk about the impact of your trauma on your relationship with the person you’re telling. You’ve even practiced soothing with triggers and taking breaks as needed to help your central nervous system feel safe when you’re distressed. The question is, how do we translate all of that work into having the conversation itself? Let’s talk about it.

5 Things That Will Kill Connection In Your Relationship
5 Things That Will Kill Connection In Your Relationship

There are many things that can lead to you no longer feeling connected to your partner or your relationship not functioning in the way you would like. Let’s dive into some key patterns that will kill the connection in your relationship.

Demystifying Complex & Complicated Grief
Demystifying Complex & Complicated Grief

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s what our brains and our bodies do in reaction to the heartbreaking and devastating reality of loss. We humans are extremely resilient, and a vast majority of us will find a way back to living a meaningful life in our own time. Sometimes though, we can get derailed in that natural grieving process and that’s when it may be time to reach out for support. 

How to Safely Talk to Loved Ones About Your Trauma, Part II
How to Safely Talk to Loved Ones About Your Trauma, Part II

So, you have an idea of what you want to say to a loved one about what you’ve gone through. You’ve thought about what might come up for you, and practiced soothing yourself in different ways. So what’s next? Planning for what you might specifically need from the conversation and person you’ll be telling. Let's talk about it.

What are the 3 Phases of Trauma Therapy?
What are the 3 Phases of Trauma Therapy?

I have had many patients come to therapy with me and say that talk therapy has not been helpful for them. Specifically, I hear the same complaint over and over: I felt like all I did was talk and open up, and I didn’t feel like there was a direction to therapy. When I hear complaints like this, I always want to start with some education about what trauma therapy looks like. Let's dive in.

Growing Through Grief
Growing Through Grief

Oomph, so you lost something. You lost something or someone that you loved. We often go so fast as a society, we celebrate the successes and wins, and we tend to ignore the pain associated with loss and grief, or put a time limit on it. Especially non-death-related grief and loss. This is an awful reality to endure for someone grieving. Let’s dive into how processing grief may look as a trauma survivor.

How to Safely Talk to Loved Ones About Your Trauma, Part I
How to Safely Talk to Loved Ones About Your Trauma, Part I

So, you’ve accepted that you get triggered pretty regularly because of What Happened, which is huge. It took so long to stop feeling like you were just “acting out for no reason,” and even if you still suspect you’re milking this whole trauma timeline, you also know you deserve a little bit more peace. In this blog post series, we’ll be covering how to have as safe and as containing of a conversation as possible with your loved ones about your trauma.

What’s a Timeout Protocol?
What’s a Timeout Protocol?

If you often find yourself in conflict with your partner which leads to yelling, there are a few things you can try to help create an environment for more productive conversation can occur. There should be very few reasons for you to yell or be yelled at, so trying a timeout protocol may help limit this way of engaging in conflict. 

Moriah Conant M.A.
Previous

What Causes Religious Trauma?
Next

Where Does the Term “Gaslighting” Come From?