In rigid, high-control religious environments, you may be taught that there is a specific way to relate to others that is permissible in the eyes of God. This formulaic, dogmatic, and fear-based teaching may get in the way of healthy relational development.

One of the most painful aspects of religious trauma is the way it teaches us to distrust our own emotions. In psychological research, we see that early life trauma results in developmental delays. This is because brain development can be interrupted by maltreatment, neglect, or abuse in adolescence or childhood.

Many people with marginalized identities face hate, discrimination, and bullying related to those identities. Some of this hate is external, but there can also be internalized hate against these identities that have been learned from other people or society. One common way people may cope in response to hate, discrimination, and bullying, is by compartmentalizing their marginalized identities. 

Recovering from religious trauma can be overwhelming and confusing, but there are commonalities that those with religious trauma share which may demystify the experience for you and help you feel less alone. Here are four things that may surprise you about religious trauma.