For many survivors of complex trauma, the holiday season can be an evocative time. It can bring up anxiety about setting boundaries with difficult family members, grief regarding the people you are not spending the holidays with, or a sense of gratitude about the past year of growth and healing. Let’s talk about how to navigate the holiday season with complex trauma

In a sequel to the blog titled “How to Survive the Holidays with Your Partner,” I present to you some reflective questions and tips for how to cope with seeing family this holiday season!

You’ve done a whole lot of preparation: you’ve thought of what you want to tell your loved one, why, which triggers might come up and how to soothe yourself accordingly, which questions you’ll field (and won’t), when to take breaks, and whether you want to talk about the impact of your trauma on your relationship with the person you’re telling. You’ve even practiced soothing with triggers and taking breaks as needed to help your central nervous system feel safe when you’re distressed. The question is, how do we translate all of that work into having the conversation itself? Let’s talk about it.

There are many things that can lead to you no longer feeling connected to your partner or your relationship not functioning in the way you would like. Let’s dive into some key patterns that will kill the connection in your relationship.

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s what our brains and our bodies do in reaction to the heartbreaking and devastating reality of loss. We humans are extremely resilient, and a vast majority of us will find a way back to living a meaningful life in our own time. Sometimes though, we can get derailed in that natural grieving process and that’s when it may be time to reach out for support. 

So, you have an idea of what you want to say to a loved one about what you’ve gone through. You’ve thought about what might come up for you, and practiced soothing yourself in different ways. So what’s next? Planning for what you might specifically need from the conversation and person you’ll be telling. Let's talk about it.

I have had many patients come to therapy with me and say that talk therapy has not been helpful for them. Specifically, I hear the same complaint over and over: I felt like all I did was talk and open up, and I didn’t feel like there was a direction to therapy. When I hear complaints like this, I always want to start with some education about what trauma therapy looks like. Let's dive in.

Oomph, so you lost something. You lost something or someone that you loved. We often go so fast as a society, we celebrate the successes and wins, and we tend to ignore the pain associated with loss and grief, or put a time limit on it. Especially non-death-related grief and loss. This is an awful reality to endure for someone grieving. Let’s dive into how processing grief may look as a trauma survivor.

So, you’ve accepted that you get triggered pretty regularly because of What Happened, which is huge. It took so long to stop feeling like you were just “acting out for no reason,” and even if you still suspect you’re milking this whole trauma timeline, you also know you deserve a little bit more peace. In this blog post series, we’ll be covering how to have as safe and as containing of a conversation as possible with your loved ones about your trauma.

If you often find yourself in conflict with your partner which leads to yelling, there are a few things you can try to help create an environment for more productive conversation can occur. There should be very few reasons for you to yell or be yelled at, so trying a timeout protocol may help limit this way of engaging in conflict. 

For many people with PTSD and trauma-related disorders, “dissociation” is a term that can seem scary and stigmatized. It can be important to demystify and educate ourselves on dissociation to better understand and validate our experiences.

What is shame? The dictionary definition is “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming or impropriety.” One study even defined shame as “negative emotions in which the feeling of global self-evisceration is experienced.” Global self-evisceration. Oof! Shame is extremely unpleasant and painful, and it can affect one’s identity and self-esteem. 

Many people are familiar with the idea of intersectionality, or how different aspects of our identities intersect with one another to make us who we are as people. What are the different ways that racial trauma shows up in our lives? Let’s dive in.

Psilocybin, the active ingredient in psychedelic mushrooms, is probably going to be legalized for therapeutic use in the United States in the next two years, and that’s on trauma treatment progress. Let’s dive into part III in what that may look like for trauma treatment.

There are five stages in the family life cycle and the stage of parenting is considered the most stressful. This is the time in which divorce rates are at their highest, sex is at its lowest and couples feel the most disconnected. Here are some ideas to help maintain your relationship during this hectic time.

We might be only a year or two away from legalizing psilocybin, the active ingredient in psychedelic mushrooms, for therapeutic use in the United States. Let’s talk about what that might look like for future trauma treatment.

With the well-earned buzz around this evidence-based approach to healing trauma, there are also plenty of misunderstandings. Let’s take a look at some common myths so that you are prepared to advocate for yourself and make decisions about your mental healthcare. 

Microaggressive trauma describes the excessive and continuous exposure to subtle interpersonal and systemic discrimination that lead to trauma symptoms like sensitivity to threat, anxiety, and hyperarousal.

When I ask myself: “What do all human beings have in common?” I always come to the same conclusion: we all have a wounded child that lives within us. That child may have been wounded by different systems and in different ways, but in the end, even if our identities are filled with privilege, we all have been injured, in one way or another in our early relational dynamics and that is part of being human.

What is a situationship, you ask? A situationship “is often discussed as being similar to a friends-with-benefits relationship, which usually involves sexual activity without a commitment to be exclusive to each other. The definition further explains that “a situationship is often described as a relationship that is more than friendship but less than a committed relationship.” So what are we to do if we find ourselves in one of these? Below are some ideas!