3 Main Processes of Attachment Therapy
What is attachment therapy?
Attachment therapy is a way of approaching therapy that focuses on early attachment experiences. A therapist using this approach will help you explore how these experiences have taught you to avoid, suppress, or amplify certain feelings, thoughts, ways of being, ways of communicating, or ways of relating.
Attachment therapy uses the framework of Attachment Theory, which helps us to understand how relationships with our primary caregivers predict our sense of safety and security in the world, starting in infancy. These early relationships also tell us how safe other people are, how hard we should work to express or reject our emotional needs, and how deserving of love we are as individuals--felt “truths” that we can’t help but carry with us long after they’re born.
Yes, there is HOPE
Our attachment styles formed in infancy impact our relationships with other people throughout our adult lives--but this does NOT mean that we can’t learn to mend attachment wounds that may have us stuck in unfulfilling relationship patterns, self-doubt, or self-criticism.
In attachment therapy, we explore how you relate to yourself and others as a result of your early attachment experiences, and what these experiences have taught you about safety and closeness—within yourself, in relationships, and in the world.
Primary goals of attachment therapy:
Normalizing attachment needs—past and present
Finding and tending to unresolved childhood wounds
Nurturing under-developed parts of the Self
Learning what safe bonding and vulnerability look like and feel like
Rediscover your innate self-compassion and self-protection instincts
In therapy, we work toward these goals through 3 main processes:
1. Creating a secure base in our therapy relationship
This means working through challenges and miscommunications, practicing nervous system co-regulation, and establishing enough safety to navigate inner child wounds and trauma triggers
2. Reclaiming that which was lost in early childhood
This means discovering what emotions or needs you had to suppress or amplify in order to try and get your needs met in childhood. We also work on acknowledging and strengthening the pieces of you that helped you to survive.
3. Integrate
Attachment therapy can sometimes bring up feelings of disconnection within the self, as we begin to discover who you are beneath your trauma adaptations. The process of integrating involves making room for the past and present, the child and adult self, and the evolution that will likely continue far into your future.
Would you like to try attachment therapy, or want help working through your trauma? California residents can book a free consultation with our therapist matchmaker to find the therapist who’s the best fit for you. We provide virtual online therapy and have therapists who are trained in emdr therapy. We also offer many different types of trauma therapy groups and all of our therapists specialize in trauma informed care, and informed trauma therapy.
All therapists at Woven Together Trauma Therapy are trauma-informed and specialize in treating all forms of trauma. We also offer EMDR therapy, Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, and Brainspotting therapy which all have shown to be extremely effective in treating and healing trauma. Want to read more about our unique therapy options?
These blogs talk more about the basics of EMDR therapy:
You can read more about Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy here:
If you would like to learn more about Brainspotting therapy, check out our blog: What is Brainspotting?