You’ve done a whole lot of preparation: you’ve thought of what you want to tell your loved one, why, which triggers might come up and how to soothe yourself accordingly, which questions you’ll field (and won’t), when to take breaks, and whether you want to talk about the impact of your trauma on your relationship with the person you’re telling. You’ve even practiced soothing with triggers and taking breaks as needed to help your central nervous system feel safe when you’re distressed. The question is, how do we translate all of that work into having the conversation itself? Let’s talk about it.

So, you have an idea of what you want to say to a loved one about what you’ve gone through. You’ve thought about what might come up for you, and practiced soothing yourself in different ways. So what’s next? Planning for what you might specifically need from the conversation and person you’ll be telling. Let's talk about it.

So, you’ve accepted that you get triggered pretty regularly because of What Happened, which is huge. It took so long to stop feeling like you were just “acting out for no reason,” and even if you still suspect you’re milking this whole trauma timeline, you also know you deserve a little bit more peace. In this blog post series, we’ll be covering how to have as safe and as containing of a conversation as possible with your loved ones about your trauma.

Sometimes when trying to change patterns, cyclical thoughts and behaviors can bring you a lot of shame and frustration. Understanding that there is a significant physiological component to creating lasting change helps you to see you are not flawed or damaged.

Although your body is trying to protect you, often you might been triggered by something that is not actually dangerous. So, here are a few steps for helping yourself feel grounded after a trigger.