We would define betrayal trauma as betrayal that occurs in a way that leads to more intense distress than just a feeling of betrayal. A friend canceling on you last minute may make you feel betrayed, but your brain most likely will not code that as trauma. However, finding out a partner cheated on you or experiencing sexual abuse from a family member will most likely result in betrayal trauma because the severity of the betrayal would probably present itself in intense distress for you.

Almost anything can become an issue in a relationship because issues arise when couples fail to understand one another, expectations go unmet, or you are unable to regulate in the midst of distress. However, there are three topics that tend to result in some of the biggest arguments amongst couples: finances, families, and sex. Let’s dive in.