How to Navigate the Holidays with Complex Trauma
How can we facilitate healing during the holiday season?
The holiday season is a meaningful time for many people. While reading this blog post, I invite you to take a moment to notice the emotions, words, and sensations the holiday season brings up for you. Excitement, nostalgia, anxiety, connection, isolation, loneliness, vacation, or play are some words that might resonate.
For many survivors of complex trauma, the holiday season can be an evocative time. It can bring up anxiety about setting boundaries with difficult family members, grief regarding the people you are not spending the holidays with, or a sense of gratitude about the past year of growth and healing. For those with religious or cult trauma, the holiday season can be a triggering time in light of religious undertones present in celebrations.
In light of this context, here are some ways you can honor your trauma history during the holiday season:
1. Create new traditions
Any season only carries the meaning that we ascribe to it. Instead of avoiding the reality that the holiday season is here, we can willingly accept it and find agency by creating new traditions for ourselves. This is an opportunity to get creative– there are no rules or regulations on the traditions you want to create for yourself during this time. Do you love skiing or retreating to a cabin? Do you prefer to avoid expensive holiday travel and spend time with family and friends a few weeks before Christmas? Do you love holiday lights but hate carols? It can be very empowering and regulating for trauma survivors to get to spend the holiday season exactly how and with whom they want to.
2. Check in with yourself, especially with politics and family
For those of us in the US, the 2024 election is fresh in our minds. Regardless of where you land politically, many trauma survivors are acutely aware of how politics inform and continue to inform how we relate to our own traumas, autonomy, and community. If you are bracing for emotionally costly conversations or interactions with close others who are on the other end of the political spectrum from you, I encourage you to check in with yourself. You might stay mindful of your own bodily sensations, emotions, values, and urges during challenging interactions and consider disengaging, educating, or connecting. The key is that we want to respond rather than react.
3. Celebrate your growth
For many complex trauma survivors, healing is not linear. At any given moment, it can feel like we’re completely better now or have made no progress at all. Most likely we fall somewhere in between. The end of the year can be an excellent opportunity to celebrate your growth this past year, note any ways you want to continue to grow and recommit to your values and goals.
What do I do now?
If you feel that you need support healing from complex trauma, feel free to reach out to us for therapeutic support. We are happy to support you in your healing journey.
These blogs talk more about the basics of EMDR:
You can read more about Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy here: