It can be very lonely to feel as if you are the only person going through an experience and that no one else can relate to you. This is something that LGBTQIA+ individuals experience often. Growing up without LGBTQIA+ role models or friends can be difficult because you don’t see yourself represented in the people around you or have examples of potential futures or life paths you could have. Maybe you have been experiencing gender dysphoria, but you are anxious about coming out because there are no transgender individuals who have been welcomed into your community. Or perhaps you don’t know any LGBTQIA+ couples who have been together for a significant amount of time, or who have raised a family. If this lack of visibility is experienced for a long time, this loneliness can turn into anxiety, depression, or even hopelessness. 

Affirmation and visibility are important factors for well-being. The Trevor Project found that “LGBTQ youth who felt high social support from their family reported attempting suicide at less than half the rate of those who felt low or moderate social support.”  Affirmation and visibility are lifesaving. 

The analogy that I think about for coming out is how it is a little bit like paying it forward. I grew up with very little awareness of or exposure to the LGBTQIA+ community. I didn’t know that queer women existed until I was a teenager. When I was still closeted, several of my friends came out as members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Watching my friends come out provided me with so much hope. Even if they weren’t in supportive environments, I saw that my friends were resilient and that they were okay after coming out. I watched them embrace their authentic selves and I felt hopeful that when I was ready to come out, I would be okay too. Without knowing it, these individuals held hope for me.

So how can you find visibility and representation, especially if you don’t know many LGBTQIA+ people in your area?

Major Organizations

There are some organizations that work to provide hope to LGBTQIA+ individuals.

• The It Gets Better Project was founded in 2010 and now has thousands of videos to “uplift, empower, and connect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) youth around the globe.”

• GLSEN works to make sure that every student has “a safe, supportive, and LGBTQ-inclusive K-12 education.”

• The Trevor Project provides crisis support, advocacy, research, and education with the goal of providing hope for young LGBTQIA+ individuals.

Local LGBTQIA+ Resources

Many big cities and some geographic locations have LGBTQIA+ centers that offer social events, support groups, mental health services, and other resources. You can typically find information on these by googling your geographic location + LGBT Center.

Mental Health Resources

Some clinicians (like me) openly identify as members of the LGBTQIA+ community. I choose to be open about my bisexual identity because I want to provide visibility that I didn’t have when I was growing up. It is also a way of conveying to clients that I can relate to experiences like coming out and having a marginalized identity. Working with a clinician that identifies as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community could be one way to find visibility through mental health resources. Another way to find visibility is by joining an LGBTQIA+ therapy group or support group. These can be great places to connect with LGBTQIA+ individuals who relate to experiences you’ve had.

Media

There are so many sources for queer media nowadays! Queer media outlets like Autostraddle, Out Magazine, and Advocate center around LGBTQIA+ issues and connect readers to other queer media like books, movies, and tv shows. There is a lot of great LGBTQIA+ representation in books, movies, and tv shows. Engaging with these narratives may provide a place for you to see yourself and your experiences reflected!

Visibility and representation are closely connected to hope and provide opportunities to see yourself, your experiences, and your dreams reflected in someone else’s narrative. I hope that this article provides you with a few different ideas of where to look for this type of connection.

If you are a California resident and would like to try therapy with a trauma-informed therapist specializing in LGBTQIA+ trauma, you can set up a free 30-minute consultation with our therapist matchmaker below.

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